I feel tired and broken but determind to fix everything. I want my life to get together now. I wanna feel better. I want everything to be perfect. Be free. Be comfortable with my home and life. I wasn’t this so bad i feel like I’m killing myself sith stress….
I hate you. I can’t be myself around you. I can’t be an adult. I can’t be a child. I can’t be happy or weird or sad, or angry if I want to be. I can’t talk to you… because when I do it feels fake. No matter what emotion that has been consuming my mind I have to stuff it there when I talk to you. Its always like I’m on the brink of tears even when I utter kind words in your direction. What kind of relationship are we? Your my parent but I receive empty support. Its like you do it because that what expected of you in this life. You don’t want to really be there for me. You’re too sad of a person to see how your actions affect me. Am I going to be like that? A self loathing, people hating, functioning shell? That is already how I feel. Because of you. Because of both of you. My parents. I have a biological father and a biological mother. But I don’t have parents. What are those like? Does anyone know what those are like these days? Knowing that you have parents that will guide you, advise you, protect, and ,for godsake, unconditionally love you? Isn’t that how its supposed to be? When this world become so evil and cruel for you? Because in my own eyes I see so much hope outside of our home…. I hate you… I hate this…..
Fuck! My vagina’s bleeding.
Does breast feeding feel good? @___@
Hate that moment when you poo and it Burns so much that when your done it feels impossible to wipe clean. Its either endure or have skid marks :/